Believe In Own Best Friend (2011)

by Electric Sorcery

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Nicolas RESSOT
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Nicolas RESSOT Confirmation : une évolution fulgurante depuis l'éponyme n°II. Electric sorcery trouve son style et livre un album indispensable, ouvert, spontané et néanmoins bien pensé. Chaque morceau est une surprise et, cette fois-ci, toutes sont bonnes. Favorite track: Suite:Yehsu Beelzebobs.
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about

WARNING:
This album is not recommended for anyone who lacks a somewhat twisted and slightly naughty sense of humor, neither is it recommended for children (unless of course you want your child to sing out dirty words in the grocery store and ask you embarrassing questions about adult apparatuses). It is also not recommended for the elderly as it may cause them to lose all hope for the future of mankind (unless of course they have cable TV in which case they already have).
To quote this piece’s main inspiration, Frank Zappa: "It's f***ing great to be alive, ladies and gentlemen, and if you do not believe it is f***ing great to be alive, you better go now, because this show will bring you down so much."
...Enjoy!

The Story of Believe in Own Best Friend
Story By Derek Campbell
Inspired by the hilarious banter of Micah Carbonneau
Yehsu Beelzebobs was a real bad man. After blowing his bailout bonus money on cigars and whores and pork he set his greedy, grubby sights on Bedsy Nauxluv , the very beautiful, seventeen year old daughter of his business partner, Big Billy Nauxluv. Bedsy was a flaxen haired cheerleader with a bright future until she was seduced by the insidious Yehsu. When Big Billy discovered that Yehsu had impregnated his sweet, tender Bedsy he loses all control and strangles Yehsu to death. Unable to find a better solution to the problem of dead body disposal Billy decides to make a stew of Yehsu and eat the remains. In the process he discovers that he has developed a taste for human flesh. He also realizes that his young Bedsy had witnessed the whole affair. He decides that the only answer is to make a stew of Bedsy too. She escapes her cannibal father and runs far away. She gives birth to Bobby the son of Yehsu. Bedsy finds it tedious to look after Bobby and would rather spend her time chasing after Senator Stopholise who is happy to use Bedsy for sex but would never consider leaving his wife and family for the likes of her. Bobby grows and is unpopular. He finds it hard to make friends and fit in. One day he sees an ad for the Own Best Friend Enhanced Male Robotic Pleasure Seeking Cyber Penis. A device that has been proven to give a man the confidence he needs to win friends and influence people. With this new accoutrement Bobby finds the confidence to ask out the hottest girl at his school, the naughty Mary Brown. Mary agrees to go on a date with Bobby in spite of his awkward nervous appearance. They eat at a local pizza joint then move it out to the dirty mattress in the back alley where things get hot and heavy pretty quickly. Mary soon discovers Bobby’s Own Best Friend and ridicules him for using such a thing. Bobby runs home humiliated and slips into a deep depression. Bobby’s mother Bedsy sees an ad on TV for a powerful new drug combination that can that can lift your depression and set you on a path to finding new friends. Tatisef/Hatihafren. She puts Bobby on the new medicine and he soon begins to feel much better and starts making friends. Bobby makes one friend after another until he has thousands and thousands of friends. Bobby throws a huge party for all of his friends and realizes that he has become the world’s most popular person. He sees Mary Brown and figures there’s no way she can reject him now that he is famous so he asks her out again. Mary quickly shatters Bobby’s illusions by laughing in his face and mocking him further. He realizes that his many new friends were all a hallucination brought on by the Tatisef/Hatihafren. Humiliated and enraged Bobby charges through the streets beckoning all who have no friends to join him in forming an Army of No Friends for the purpose of wiping that smug smile of those friends’ faces for good. Bobby forms his army and starts a War On Friends that rages on until every living person on the planet is destroyed. All but Bobby perish in the war and Bobby is now truly alone with no hope of ever having a friend. He wanders the earth aimlessly until his eye spies the shiny tip of his old Own Best Friend. Then a few paces away he finds two pill bottles one containing Tatisef the other, Hatihafen. Bobby walks off into the sun set excited to embark on his bright future.

credits

released April 1, 2011

Copyright 2011
Electric Sorcery

Produced & Engineered
By D. Campbell
& M. Carbonneau
At Lyndonunderground Studio
Lyndonville, Vermont

Mastered by Bennett Shapiro
at Madtech Sound
Reinforcement

Cover Art by Erin Inglis
Erininglis.com

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Electric Sorcery Lyndonville

From Vermont’s Northeast Kingdom comes the progressive psychedelic sound that is Electric Sorcery.This electrifying group brings together some of the best known original musicians in the NEK, Derek Campbell, Micah Carbonneau, Chris Doncaster and Luke Laplant. ... more

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Track Name: Suite:Yehsu Beelzebobs
Yehsu Beelzeebobs he was a real bad man.
He had the finest ladies from New York to Osaka, Japan. Yehsu Beelzeebobs he was a real sad man. He blew his bailout bonus money on cigars and whores and pork and then he found his very hungry self needed something more. Just a little teenybopper seventeen years old (just a little teenybobber seventeen and you can’t stop her) With big doe eyes of baby blue and hair of Saxon gold (big doe eyes of baby blue and hair of golden Saxon flaxen) Make this score. Do, do it right! Make this score. You’ll score tonight! When she does her jumps and splits she makes me feel so fine (when she does her jumps and split it makes me want to squeeze her tits) Yehsu drinks his flask of gin and stares at her behind (staring at her little tushy dreaming that its soft and cushy) Yehsu Beelzeebobs he was a real bad man and his business partner was Big Billy Nauluv. Yehsu Beelzeebobs he was a real sad man and he put it into little Bedsy Nauxluv. She was his business partners daughter. What was he thinking? Must have been drinkin’! Well when I found out, what could I do? I had to choke that Motherfucker till his face turned blue. I had to squeeze all the life out of Yehsu’s head and in less than three minutes Beezeebobs was dead. Body disposal. What can I do? I know, I’ll cook me up a special batch of Beelzeebobs stew. The flavor of flesh I never had it before but now that I’ve had some I think I needs me some more. My sweet tender Bedsy, she saw it all. I better catch that little dumpling ‘for she gets down the hall…Come back Bedsy…
Track Name: Nauxluv
No one wants a mom like Bedsy Nauluv. No one ever taught her how to show love, oh love. No one likes a mom like Bedsy Nauluv. No one wants a mom who never learned how to know how to show how to be no friend, No one cared a mom like Bedsy Nauluv had to raise her Bobby without no one, no fun. Never took the time to show him no love. When she hears him cry she tends togo for a walk and leave Bobby at home alone with out a chaperone, fighting the dog for bones’ in Dr. Denton’s with feet cut off ‘cause he’s grown. She never takes the chance to change his dirty pants. She’d rather go and dance and shake her booty at Senator Stopheles, he runs the brain police. She worships him although he doesn’t give a fuck. He just likes bj’s and her see-through pj’s and he’d never leave his wife for such a dirty slut...Come back Bedsy...
Track Name: Own Best Friend Today
Just believe in Own Best Friend and you can be your Own Best Friend. Now you need you Own Best Friend. You gotta own Best Friend today. With electric bone best friend, you can drive her home best friend. Make your lady moan best friend. For $69.95 you can own Best Friend today. Made from Space Age Ditittium Steel, Own Best Friend enhanced male robotic pleasure seeking cyber penis is the latest development in advanced erotic pleasure transference devices. Outside rock-hard, rotating, rigged, ribbed rogering rod provides maximum pleasure for your wife, mistress, girlfriend, sister, fuck friend, butt buddy, or insignificant other. While inside silk-lined, slippery, slithering, sliding, sideways, sleeze strokers keep you coming again and again. Own Best Friend doesn’t waste a drop of your enthusiasm. All male erotic pleasure byproduct substance is captured and stored in special cyber age polymer spunk reservoir where high powered atomic torprol pressure relief jets await your command to deliver that perfect “money shot” every time. Be confident, masculine and finally accepted. Believe in Own Best Friend. Doubles as a stylish cod piece. Own Best friend should not be used if you are pregnant of nursing. Consult a physician if chafing or bleeding occurs. I believe in Own Best friend. I can be my own best friend. Now I need my Own Best Friend. I’m gonna own Best Friend Today. Now I got my Own Best Friend. Now the fun will never end. So confident with Own Best Friend I’m gonna get me a date with that little hottie Mary Brown. Hi,uh, uh, Mary? Yeah, who are you? I’m, uh, Bobby. Okay? Would you uh, that is do you uh, can I take you uh, would you like to get some pizza with me? Hmm, you’re so nervous. You’re kind of cute though in a weird, creepy sort of way. Okay, pick me up at seven. I got no goddamn car. Oh great, I’ll meet you there then, house of pizza at seven, okay? uh huh, yeah, ok, uh, friend. Go? Now that I got Own Best friend. I’m so hot with Own Best Friend. Gonna get my own girlfriend. Oh she’s so hot, she’s so hot, she’s so hot, Mary Brown! I’m the man with Own Best Friend. Finally my sadness ends. I’m gon get myself some friends. Don’t fool yourself girl, yes I’m gonna jam this thing right up in your booty now. How’s yer pizza? Mm, good. Mines too… hot. uh huh? You know, there’s a shed out back. They call it the love shack. With a dirty mattress. Would you like to… take me there? UH HUH! To the dirty mattress? Oh, oh Bobby, ooh yeah, oh its so… hard. What the fuck? What the fuck is that? Some kind of strap on? What kind of girl do you think I am? Wait ‘til the kids at school hear about this! Oh no I’ve done it again. Now you’ll never have no friends. This is where the party ends. You blew your shot at this girlfriend with Own Best Friend today. Everybody now hear this. Little Bobby smells like piss, plus he don’t know how to kiss. So run home crying and change your little dirty pants while we point and smile and laugh. You got no friends, you got no friends, YOU GOT NO FRIENDS!!!
Track Name: Bobby's Lament
I believed in Own Best Friend and I believed in Own Best Friend and I believed in Own Best Friend. Don’t never tell a boy he ain’t no best friend when he ain’t never learned from his Ma how to have his self no friends. That poor boy he ain’t never learned his self none, about, having no mother fucking friends, bitch! Ain’t got no friend! Fuck! Fuck friend! Fuck friend! No friend!
Track Name: Tatisef/Hatihafren
If you ever find yourself with no friends (Tatisef / Hatihafren®) and you think you’re finally at your ropes end (Tatisef / Hatihafren®) You don’t have to sit home feelin’ lonely (Tatisef / Hatihafren®) There ain’t nothing else can help you, only Tatisef / Hatihafren® Do you ever feel lonely, sad? Are you depressed because you have no friends? Thanks to the insatiable pharmaceutical geniuses at Smerk & Roger, Mi, Johnson you don’t have to feel lonely anymore. There’s a new drug combination that can lift your depression and set you on a path to making new friends. Tatisef®, for that sad, lonely feeling and Hatihafren®, to help you Overcome your social inadequacies. Taken together this powerful drug combination could be the weapon you need to battle the pain of no friends. Ask your doctor if Tatisef / Hatihafren® is right for you. Common side effects may include and are not limited to:.. Got one friend, got two friends….
Track Name: A Party Of Friends
Ladies and Gentlemen! Allow me to introduce you to a man who’s sure to seduce you to a man who sure to seduce you. Little Boby Nauluv never got to show love. Livin’ with his Mama, always suffering the trauma of a solitary life with a Dad he didn’t know of. But that don’t matter no more Bobby. Take the floor ‘cause it’s you that we adore Bobby. You just got popular dropping opulent toppers non-stop anymore since you taught yourself how to have friends. You learned how to have friends. Now you know how to have friends. Since you taught yourself how to have friends. They used to laugh at you like a clown. Now you’re the coolest cat around. You’ll get the girlies now. I’m so glad you could be here today, all my friends. I always dreamed it would be this way. Now the party never has to end. Since you taught yourself how to have friends. You learned how to have friends. Now you know how to have friends. Since you taught yourself how to have friends. Got one friend, got two friend…WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS! Hey Bobby, ain’t that Mary Brown? The girl who turned your smile to a frown? She can’t reject you now. Try her out… go get her Bobby…‘Member me, hey remember me? Mary hey. Hi Mary, remember me? Uh… it’s Bobby, yah. I’m famous now. I’m famous and I got lots of friends. Oh God…Yah. Hey, I’m throwin myself a little party over here. Would you like to come? I’d really, really love to bring you, love to go out with you again. Oh my God,. You’re kidding right? You look like you just crawled out of the gutter. I’m pretty sure you still don’t have any friends. GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LOSER! Mary…Mary...you’re drivin’ me…you’re putting me on…you’re bringin’ me back…FIND FRIENDS!
Track Name: R Time
Got no friends. Got no friends. Got no friends. How bout you? Got no friends too? It’s R time now. Got no friends. How bout you? Got no friends too? It’s R time now. Let’s roll. Grab everything that ain’t bolted down. We’re gonna run rough shod across this whole damn town. Everybody who got no friends and thought their misery would never come to an end. Now’s your chance! Now’s your time! Join with me we’re gonna make ‘em cry. We’re gonna make those friends cry. It’s R time now
Track Name: Forever After
Friends?… Friends?... Friends? Hmmm… no friends…I BELIEVED IN OWN BEST FRIEND!